Welcome to Wilco Wednesday! If you are a new around these parts, “Wilco” is Army-speak for “Will Comply.” Think of it as saying “Roger, God. Got it. Will do.” So that is what Wednesday here at 7 Days Time is all about– exploring his decrees and seeking guidance for what complying with Him looks like in everyday life. The best part? He loves us for who we are, not what we do. Remember: He doesn’t want perfection, just obedience. Share. Enjoy. Interact. And let’s respond to God’s call with a hearty “Wilco, Lord!” Welcome my sweet-hearted, oil-loving friend Shelby!
***
For years I thought “You know, this walk would be much easier if God would lay out His will for me.” Then a dear sister in Christ took me to God’s word and pointed out verse after verse that tells us what His will is. I was stunned. So I became a student of the Bible and crammed a ton of theology into my brain because hey, if I knew all that stuff, life wouldn’t be so hard! Right?! Ha! I borrowed the title of this blog from a book that calls us to think seriously about what we believe about God. Because knowing Him and His character makes a difference when we’re faced with trials. I want to touch on two things…sickness and healing. But really, grace and faith.
At the end of January, the most difficult trial of my life (thus far) began when my 4-year-old son had “something wrong” with the left side of his cheek and nobody seemed to have answers. Doctor after doctor, blood draws, ultrasounds, scans, biopsies, more doctors… waiting for reports from pathology felt like an eternity, and all the while the swelling was getting worse and the pain more unbearable. A helpless mother watching her child suffer… I would argue this is the worst kind of torture. In the waiting, my mind had too much time to ponder every horrible scenario and live it out as if it were reality. In 2 Corinthians 10:5, Paul encourages us to take every thought captive. Yeah right Paul!! In my tormented mind, I was preparing for the worst, accepting the possibility that my son… my only son… might have cancer and die an awful death. Forgive the honesty.
Though the diagnosis was devastating to us, we were told it is treatable. We praised God. Now four weeks into chemotherapy, we are still praising God. Without a doubt, God’s grace is sufficient… and sufficient for every moment. I’m learning that His grace is not sufficient for all the “what ifs.” They are not reality. They are anxious thoughts. We tend to look at the trials of others and think, “I could never endure that.” And we’re right, we couldn’t… unless He has us walk through it. Then He provides what is needed to do it. Here’s the truth… His perfect measure of grace is given precisely when it is needed. Not too late and not too early. He is perfect in all of His ways. It’s who He is. That’s why we are called to not worry and to not be anxious. After all, each day has enough trouble of its own. Amen to that.
I know He gives peace that passes all understanding because I have been the recipient of it as of late. But one can wonder what He has up His sleeve, right?! I have never doubted that God is able to heal my son. Just like that. Healed, restored. The question is….will He? Is that His plan this side of heaven? And regardless of His plan, am I going to believe that He is good and trustworthy?
Much struggle has come over the years when folks say “I’m believing God for a miracle” or “I’m believing God for total healing.” Because if I’m honest, there have been times when I either don’t feel settled with the statement or I don’t believe it. Not sure which. And my focus turns inward as I wonder what is wrong with me. Do I not share their unwavering faith? Am I not filled with the same Holy Spirit?! Do I believe God or not?
Maybe I’ve been asking the wrong questions. God’s power is not dependent upon me. There’s a lot of “me” in those questions. We know from scripture, and from experience, that the prayers of His people do indeed move His Hand. My son’s sustained wellness is proof of that. And I will continue praying for it. But is God’s healing power dependent upon my faith? I hope not. My faith is like shifting sand, changed by every wave. Every time my focus turns inward and my questions contain too many I’s, the wrong question is likely being posed. Maybe it is not a matter of what I believe He will do, but what I believe about Him and His character. If I pray “yet not my will but Thine be done Oh Lord,” can I genuinely trust Him with the outcome? Yes. I can. Clearly, I don’t have to have it figured out. But I take comfort that I don’t have to. I don’t even have to know what comes next. I can count on His grace that is sufficient for the moment. Because He is faithful and trustworthy. It’s who He is.
Dear readers– do you identify with Shelby’s heart here? We would love to hear from you. Leave a comment.
***
Army Chaplain wife and professional cat herder (AKA mom of 5), Shelby spends much of her time at household mission control. When household is on autopilot, three additional passions take over 1) all things praise and WORSHIP 2) mysteriously divine stuff called ESSENTIAL OILS, and 3) seeking and loving JESUS!!
Linking up today with my friend Kristin over at Three-word Wednesday and having a little Coffee for your Heart with Holley.
