The Value of Friendship #WilcoWednesday

Welcome to Wilco Wednesday! If you are a new around these parts, “Wilco” is Army-speak for “Will Comply.” Think of it as saying “Roger, God. Got it. Will do.”  So that is what Wednesday here at 7 Days Time is all about– exploring his decrees and seeking guidance for what complying with Him looks like in everyday life. The best part? He loves us for who we are, not what we do.  Remember: He doesn’t want perfection, just obedience. Share. Enjoy. Interact. And let’s respond to God’s call with  a hearty “Wilco, Lord!”  Welcome today my wise and loving friend, Katharina as she shares her heart with us. 

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Last week, I met with one of my friends. We met eight years ago at our last duty station. It is great to be stationed together again and to reconnect. One of the great things about our friendship is that our children are the same age and they love playing together. While this season of reconnection has been great, it is coming to an end as they are moving to another continent in a few weeks.

You might think, “And? So you’ll stay in touch with all the great social media forums out there”. That might be true, but for me it is hard to stay connected that way, since my love language is quality time and physical touch (from the book The Five Love Languages by Gary D. Chapman). I always miss the one-on-one time, as well as the hugs.

In my life coaching business, I discovered that one area many of my clients feel the most stuck in, besides balancing their life, is friendships/relationships. Some of us get hurt or burned by our friends to the point that it is really hard to make new friendships. Or others are longing so much to be loved and accepted by others that they forget to protect their hearts against false friendships.

Our hearts are very important to God, to ourselves, as well as in our relationships with others. It is easy to close our hearts to new friendships or to open it up too much to the wrong people – just to be hurt in the end. King Solomon mentions in Proverbs 20:5 (English Standard Version) “The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out”. In addition, scripture also says that the Lord knows all the desires of our heart (Psalm 37:4).

How can you and I change the way we view friendships?

How can you and I learn to have healthy and strong relationships?

Let’s go to the one who created relationships – Jesus.

Here is an illustration of Jesus’ relationship circle.

Jesus’ first and foremost relationship was with his heavenly Father. He did nothing without praying first and submitting himself completely to God’s will for his life (John 5:19-30). “Therefore Jesus answered and was saying to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, unless it is something He sees the Father doing; for whatever the Father does, these things the Son also does in like manner.” (John 5:19 Berean Literal Bible). How would you describe your relationship with your heavenly Father? Do you know him like He knows you?

“You have searched me and known me. You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You understand my thought from afar. You scrutinize my path and my lying down, And are intimately acquainted with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain” (Psalm 139:1-6).

Do you know his will for your life? How much time and effort do you invest in developing your relationship with God?

After his intimate relationship with his Father, Jesus had three close disciples named James, John, and Peter. They saw him transform in Matthew 17 and they are the ones Jesus chose to spend the last hours of his life with while praying in the Garden of Gethsemane (Matt 26:36-56). Jesus trusted them, he built and invested into their relationship. Remember, on this Rock (Peter) I will build my church (Matt 16:18).

Can you write down or name close friends that have seen you at your best and at your worst? Friends that have your permission to tell you when to put your big girl pants on and to get yourself together, knowing they do it not to hurt you or to put you down but because they love you? Your closest friend could be your parents, your partner, your child, your sister, etc. If you have those close friends, what are you doing to nurture those relationships?

If you don’t have those close friends, ask God to bring to you the right people that he wants you to invest in with your time and love. But also pray that he will show you those he wants you to say goodbye to as well.

In the end, friendships and relationships are an amazing asset to our hearts. We need them, but we also need to be prayerful about who we invite into our close circle of friends. Nevertheless, the most important relationship should be with God, all other relationships will come together in His timing and will.

Katharina is a military spouse and a stay at home mom of a 8-year-old and a 6-year-old. She homeschools her two children and she is a life coach with www.well-springs-lifecoaching.com. She coaches women in life balance, relationships, health and fitness, and personal goal setting.

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