It had been such a hard day.
Oh heck, who was I kidding? It had been a hard few weeks. I had been running pretty hard for several days in a row, struggling to fulfill my leadership roles, do ministry and most of all, parent our sweet, anti-sleep teething, feverish 11-month old daughter while my husband was away for two months with the army.
Not only was I physically weary, but emotionally I was tapped out. My heart was heavy from sharing the burdens of life with a few friends in ministry. When bedtime for my daughter rolled around that night, it was the first time I had paused all day.
As I sat there rocking her in the dark, listening to the synthetic raindrop sounds from her white noise machine, I took a deep breath and accessed my heart.
Within moments, the tears began to fall, streaming down my face in the dark as I prayed for my weary, aching heart.
Suddenly, my “head” chimed in. “Suck it up, buttercup. You signed up for this. You are called to be a wife, mother and minister. There’s no time for crying. Stop being ungrateful.”
These thoughts made me cry harder. Then my heart spoke up, whispering sounds of love straight from God.
“Let your tears fall, dear daughter. Though you may cry in the dark, I see them. And that is OK. You are human. Come to Me and allow Me to ease your burden. Cry out to Me, for sometimes your tears mean more than any mountaintop praise.”
At once, my heart was at peace. The tears continued to fall, but they were no longer those of exhaustion and frustration. They were tears of gratitude.
I was grateful to worship a God who speaks. I was thankful to follow a God that never leaves me. I was so relieved to remember that God sees our tears in the dark and He cares about them.
In fact, sometimes those tears are better than a Hallelujah.
(If you are reading via email, click here for Amy Grant’s song “Better than a Hallelujah.”)
God loves a lullaby
In a mother’s tears in the dead of night
Better than a Hallelujah sometimes
God loves the drunkard’s cry
The soldier’s plea not to let him die
Better than a Hallelujah sometimes
Refrain:
We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful, the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah
The woman holding on for life
The dying man giving up the fight
Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes
The tears of shame for what’s been done
The silence when the words won’t come
Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes
(Refrain)
Better than a church bell ringing
Better than a choir singing out, singing out
(Refrain 2X)
Dear friends, if your heart is hurting please know that is OK! Allow yourself permission to be real. Cry out to God. He wants to listen. To encourage. To love you.
After all, he sees our tears in the dark and they are better than a hallelujah sometimes.
Reaching for Him,
“Lord, you are the God who saves me; day and night I cry out to you.” ~Psalm 88:1 NIV
Linking up today with my sweet friend Beth over at Three-word Wednesday and also with Walking Redeemed. Oh! And be sure to join our #EverydayJesus link-up community right here at 7 Days Time every Thursday!
