10 Commandments of Parenting Toddlers #EverydayJesus

August 13, 2015 by

Welcome to another week of our Everyday Jesus link-up. Be sure to link-up below this post, comment on your neighbor’s blog and share with your friends… Because Jesus is everywhere, every day! 

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Parenting is one crazy ride.

One minute you are laughing so hard you want to cry and the next minute you are crying because, well, parenting.

It is kind of exciting to think that I have been blogging long enough to share a few “Commandment” series blogs of parenting, like 10 commandments of Pregnancy for the Husbands, for the family/friends and strangers of pregnant gals, commandments for the preggos themselves and even 10 Commandments for New Mamas.  [Read more…]

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When God Stretches Us #EverydayJesus

August 6, 2015 by

Welcome to another week of our Everyday Jesus link-up. Be sure to link-up below this post, comment on your neighbor’s blog and share with your friends… Because Jesus is everywhere, every day! 

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Painful confession: (Don’t worry. I won’t judge you if this makes you judge me for a split second. I still love you.)

I don’t like preschoolers. 

Do I think they are cute? Yes. And  I grateful God created them? Absolutely. Do they add joy to this world? Sure.

Are they my primary area of ministry? No. No, no, no, no, no.

This was recently reaffirmed– the hard way.

After some prayer (and admitted procrastination) I volunteered to help with Vacation Bible School. Although tiny humans are not my fave area of ministry work, I figured that I could handle a week of either doing skits or registration or even being a crew leader to some elementary kiddos.

Stretches UsI completely forgot about the preschoolers. 

So you can probably guess what happened next: I got voluntold to lead/wrangle/herd 10 preschoolers for 20 total hours during the 5-day Vacation Bible School adventure.

And friends, it stretched me more than I have been stretched in ministry in months.

I tried to remain at peace, to find the joy, but it was so much work. And chaos. I don’t do well with chaos.

And licking. So much licking.

I tried to cope by putting clever things on Facebook each day like:

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Never in my life have I been afraid to close my eyes to pray until I became a preschool crew leader at VBS.  #TinyNinjasEverywhere!

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Yea, though I walk through the valley of VBS, I shall fear no preschooler… ‪

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Dear VBS preschoolers: What’s with the licking!?
‪#KnockItOff #TimeOutsForEverybody!

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Need your help deciding on today’s most ridiculous Preschool VBS moment. (cast your vote below…) 

A) that we actually had to utter the phrase “NO! Your tongue in YOUR mouth only! 

B) During final worship, we almost had to bust the back of a pew because someone got their arm STUCK in the hymnal slot. (and screamed like a banshee in the meantime) 

Voting starts… NOW! 

(Sidenote: Yes, these two scenarios were from the same kid.)  #AlmostFriday

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Just when I hoped our preschool VBS experience would end without a sex ed discussion… 

My cohort: “Let’s not kiss our teachers, boys and girls. Save your kisses for mom and dad.” 

Preschooler: “We can’t! If mom and dad kiss, they have babies!” 

Me, whispering: “Quick, let’s change the subject! This will go south in a hurry!” 

My cohort: “So what kind of pizza do you like, boys and girls?” 

#CloseOne #AllTheMoreReasonNOTtoKissTheTeacher

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That is how I deal with stress. Humor. And it sort of worked.

But every single day, I had to pray for God to equip me for the self-control, patience and peace to execute my duties– and not get fired for yelling at someone else’s kid.

It stretched me so much. And since that time, it has made me GREATLY appreciate the fact that VBS is only one week a year. It is a perfect perspective giver in my everyday– because now, no matter what happens, at least I wasn’t chasing 10 sugar-hyped little people.

(Side note: For all of you out there who has the gift of ministering to our little youth– please know that there is a very special place in heaven for you. Jesus told me last week while I was muttering under my breath on restroom duty.)

Anywho, there is a purpose in this humorous/challenging experience. God stretches us with purpose, be it to open doors, close them or simply to bring us back to Him in our everyday. So that is today’s question: Where has God been stretching you lately? Chime in and leave a comment. 

Just remember, dear reader– that the next time God stretches you, as long as you don’t have a preschoolers tongue on your arm, you are ahead of the game. #PassTheDisinfectant

Stretched for Jesus,

Initials Signature Blog

“We’re able to stretch our hands out and receive what we asked for because we’re doing what he said, doing what pleases him.” ~1 John 3:22 MSG

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The Backwards PCS (Part 2) Army Wife Network

July 27, 2015 by

Last month, I shared the first half of what I deem as a rather epic list of “backwards” PCSing tips. (And yes, I am biased.) My Facebook friends contributed to the humorous list, and now I would like to share the second portion of the how-not-to-PCS strategies. (To get caught up and read the first post in this series, click here.)

Got your chocolate in hand and ready to laugh? Let’s dive into to the rest of our Backwards PCS adventures. [Read more…]

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The Backwards PCS (Part 1) Army Wife Network

June 29, 2015 by

We all know that rocking this army wife life is rewarding. It is an adventure.

But you know what? Sometimes that adventure can daggum stress us out.

I personally believe that PCSing can be one of the most stressful events of our army lives.

Backwards PCSSo much coordination, so few answers. When are we leaving? When will the packers arrive? Can we drive both vehicles? How much is in savings? When do we report? When do the kids get out of school? When does school start? What is our weight limit again? Do we really like or furniture or can we just ditch it and start over? Where is the nearest chocolate stash? [Read more…]

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The Wheels on the Bus

June 17, 2015 by

Hi friends! I am taking a quick breather from creating new material on Wednesdays as I prep for an upcoming conference and lay some foundational leadership work with a one of my local organizations. I was digging through the archives and found this post worthy of a re-share. I pray you enjoy it! Thanks for the grace. 

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It’s been years since I’ve ridden on a school bus route for the sole purpose of getting to and from school.

Even now though, I still can’t see one of those big, yellow behemoths without being briefly taken back to my youthful days of riding the bus.

When I was in elementary school, we lived in rural North Central Kansas. North Central as in, seven miles from Nebraska. And rural as in, 90 (yes 90!) miles from the nearest Wal-Mart. So five days a week for year after year, I rode the big yellow school but from our house ten miles to town and back again.

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Seriously, Lord?!?

March 30, 2015 by

Ever have one of those days where all you really can do is stare at the ceiling and say, “Seriously, Lord!?!”

I do. Rather frequently, in fact.

These “Seriously, Lord” days are not exceptionally bad. Or tragic. Or earth shattering. But they generally fall into the category of frustrating and the only thing left is for us to just take a deep breath as we let it go.

I had one of these days a few weeks ago. [Read more…]

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The Horse and the Tadpoles #EverydayJesus Link-Up

March 5, 2015 by

Welcome to another week of our Everyday Jesus link-up. Be sure to link-up below this post, comment on your neighbor’s blog and share with your friends… Because Jesus is everywhere, every day! 

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Growing up in the country was straight up awesome. Sure, a few decades later I appreciate that we have 3 (or more?) Target Stores within a 30 minute drive and a gas station is a little over half a mile away instead of 17. But man– my childhood in the country was one adventure after another.

My sister and I thoroughly enjoyed exploring the out-of-doors, specifically playing in our “hideout” and perusing the nearby creek for critters. When we were less than a decade old, we would spend hours with our elbows (and sometimes feet/legs, whole selves) in the shallow creek behind our house. Most evenings we would come home muddy and soaking wet– with our “prize” in an ice cream bucket.  [Read more…]

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Keeping the Home Fire Burning (Army Wife Network)

February 23, 2015 by

My husband is an infantryman.

I believe he chose this MOS because of the opportunity to serve, the thrill factor and challenge that comes with boots-on-the-ground-kicking-in-doors-and-taking-names.

Plus, he loves the color blue.

Recently, however, I have learned another interesting piece of his genetic soldier make-up.

He loves the infantry because he secretly harbors a desire to be the next Bear Grylls– you know, that super-intense guy with the TV show “Man vs. Wild?” Yeah, I am married to a wannabe-that.

Which makes family camping tricks  very frustrating  interesting. [Read more…]

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Our Schedule & Middle School Dance Partner #EverydayJesus Linkup

January 8, 2015 by

Welcome to another week of our Everyday Jesus link-up. Be sure to link-up below this post, comment on your neighbor’s blog and share with your friends… Because Jesus is everywhere, every day! 

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In all my years of leadership and all things special events, I have been blessed to hold a variety of roles.

I have been the planner, the coordinator, the decorator (never again,) the recruiter, the cheerleader, the communicator and a variety of other rather abstract fill-in-the-gap jobs.

Probably one of my most awkward and most memorable was the “Dance-Distance Nazi.” (I know that the word “Nazi” is NOT politically correct, but that is what those pesky little teenagers nicknamed me by the night’s end.)

Let me explain. [Read more…]

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9 Humorous Holiday Hacks

November 24, 2014 by

The holidays are looming.

Some of you out there have already made your list, checked it twice and bought gifts for all those who have been naughty and nice. I know folks who have their holiday meals planned with grocery lists at the ready. Others have already began creating a magnificent Pinterest centerpiece with hopes that guests will talk about it for centuries to come.

If you fall into that category, more power to you sister. (You should invite us over for Christmas. I will bring a store-bought veggie tray. And maybe some Wal-Mart cupcakes.)

I like beautiful Christmas décor. I love eating delicious food. But girls, we are army wives. Managing Household 6 is enough without adding more hoopla to our holiday plate. Society’s Pinterest expectations can only be met when the army/kids/hubs are all in sync.

Around our house, sometimes the only things “in sync” are the dirty dishes. #SeeWhatIDidThere?

If you ever celebrate the holidays at our house and everything is magazine-ish-styled-gourmet-matchy-matchy, just assume my dormant craft/cooking skills blossomed after one too many cups of eggnog.

Perhaps you identify. If so, never fear.  I have found a way to work smarter instead of harder this holiday season.  All it takes is a bit of creativity, a great sense of humor and refined excuse-making skills.

Now presenting: 9 Humorous Holiday Hacks

 Holiday_Hacks1. “Arrrggghhh!! I am almost done wrapping these gifts but am four inches short of having enough paper. The stores are closed and I have to give this gift tomorrow.”
Hack: Use newspaper, old magazines, or even the kid’s used coloring book pages if you are desperate. If anyone questions your methods, simply say that you decided to “Go Green.”

 2.“I tried a new recipe and it tastes funky. It is still edible and safe for consumption (I think), but definitely tastes weird.”
Hack: Tell everyone that you wanted to “experiment” with a new type of eating like Vegan or Whole30. If you don’t want to risk them calling you out (“Wait, Paleo doesn’t use cheese and this thing is smothered in it!”) claim that you are trying to eat “healthier” or that the dish is a “tradition” passed down for 35 generations. If you are really feeling salty, invent a new type of cuisine on the spot. Do this by spelling your favorite holiday food backward and stating it is from your favorite country. “Yeah, this is called yekrut from Morocco.”

3. “I gave my sister a pair of blaze orange Crocs and it was just awkward.”
Hack: When a gift is not well-received, always have a sentimental story on standby. “Sis, don’t you remember when we went to the zoo as kids? You were wearing an orange blazer and your favorite animals were the crocodiles.”

Want to read the rest of the list? Pop on over to Army Wife Network to check it out.

What humorous holiday hacks would you add to the list? I would love to hear from you. Feel free to leave a comment.

Hang onto these hacks and before you know it, everyone will want to know your “secrets” for a stress-free, seamless holiday season. #IsItNewYearsYet?

Here’s to Holiday Humor,

Initials Signature Blog

“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.” ~Proverbs 31:25

Linking up today with Kelli via Unforced Rhythms,  Laura at Playdates with God,  Joan’s  Beauty in His Grip,  Jen over at Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood,  and Hazel via  Tell Me a Story. Be sure to join our #EverydayJesus link-up  community right here at 7 Days Time every Thursday!

 

 

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