Forward, March: Just a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T (AWN)

December 4, 2018 by

There are a lot of layers to this military wife life.

It’s kind of like an onion. (Or, as Donkey from the movie Shrek insists, it’s like a parfait. Which sounds delicious. But I digress.)

Seriously. So many layers. It’s not like the romantic homecoming love stories in the movies. Sure, we have our moments, but real life Army marriage requires a lot more than a long kiss that makes your toes curl.

Military wife life isn’t just about loving our soldiers. It’s about respect, especially if your service member happens to be a “typical” male.

See, here’s the thing… most men KNOW their wives love them. But many wonder: “Does she really respect me?” 

Maybe this makes you gasp and clutch your pearls. Of course I respect him! How could he think otherwise?

Well, I speak from experience when I say that sometimes our actions (or our words) don’t exactly convey respect.

You might recall a blog I wrote a couple of years ago entitled The Best Deployment Ever. It shares a lot of the revelations I learned regarding how women (typically) desire love and men (typically) desire respect. (This is not my original concept. It stems from the Weekend to Remember conference and Emerson Eggerichs’ book Love and Respect.

I respect my infantryman husband. So, SO much. But for the first several years of our marriage, I didn’t do such a great job of showing it.

Whenever I would say a backhanded comment of frustration about the Army.

When I rolled my eyes or heaved a huge sigh.

The moments that I tried to “mom” him.

Anytime I flat out rejected him for, ahem, “romantical time” together.

Sure, I knew I respected him. But he didn’t know that.

In the years since, I’ve been a lot more intentional about conveying my respect to him in whatever ways I can.

Like being patient and graceful when the Army throws us (another) curveball.

Want to read more about my AWN Respect Revelations? Check it out HERE. 

So this month’s Forward, March! challenge is to assess our individual Respect-0-Meter. Do we respect our spouse? How are we showing it? In what ways (words, attitude, actions) should we make an effort to be more respectful?

This idea of love AND respect is a lot more complex than just a simple blog post (which is probably why Dr. Eggerichs wrote the book). I encourage you to check it out to learn more about how to respect your husband (which results in him loving you more) and having a fulfilling marital relationship as an Army wife. It just takes a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

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Army Wife Network: “Deja Blue” and the Deployment See-Ya-Later

October 26, 2018 by

For the most part, milspouse life is pretty great.

There’s new adventures, great people, lessons to learn, places to see, things to do… But of course, it’s not all roses, sunshine, and puppy dog tails.

In my personal opinion, one of the most uncool parts of the Army wife life are those pesky see-ya-laters that crop up when facing a TDY or deployment.

Just a few days ago, I had to conquer yet another see-ya-later with my Beloved Infantryman.

Gross, I know. #LeSigh

Unlike previous see-ya-laters (because I refuse to say “goodbye”), this one was different. Because we now have two tiny humans who are part of the equation. 

Military see-ya-laters are just so weird. A few of my wife friends in the battalion liken it to pulling off a band-aid. Naturally, the preferred method is to yank and go, then deal with the sting later. (And boy-oh-boy does a deployment band-aid-ripping-see-ya-later sting! #Medic!) [Read more…]

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Army Wife Network: Introducing “Forward, March!”

October 17, 2018 by

Newsflash: Things are ALWAYS changing in our Army wife life.

Ok, so maybe that doesn’t classify as “breaking news.” More like “Well, yeah… that’s no surprise.”

But since things are constantly changing at AWN, we want to try and stay contemporary, and thus we would like to introduce a fresh, shiny, new blog series called “Forward, March!”

We not only want to talk the talk as military spouses, but walk the walk. Or, in this case, march the march? [Read more…]

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PCSing, Marriage and Microwave Placement (Army Wife Network)

July 23, 2018 by

A while back, I stood in our scantly-equipped kitchen. Plastic silverware and paper plates sat on the counter next to the loaf of bread (and the espresso machine named Juan Valdez #BecausePriorities).

Our little family was finishing up our latest PCS. We had arrived at our final destination, found a wonderful house that met our needs, and now we were just waiting on the delivery of our household goods.

So yes, there I stood, looking around our bare kitchen, dreaming, planning, thinking… all of which are fave hobbies of mine with any PCS. [Read more…]

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Memorable Milspouse Moments Part 3 (AWN Giveaway)

September 6, 2017 by

The last couple months, we here at AWN have been reflecting on some of our most memorable milspouse memories. (If you missed Part 1 or Part 2, I will wait while you catch up.)

Today, we wrap this mini-series up, and you can probably guess the main topic of discussion:

Yep, you got it. Homecoming and deployments. (With a few extra bonus memories sprinkled in there.)

I have my fair share of reunion stories too, so it would be hard to narrow it down: When he came home on R & R and proposed during a 12-month deployment. Drill sergeant school graduation. Ranger school graduation. The deployment homecoming when my daughter was old enough to sort of “get it.” And more TDY’s than I can even remember.

I want to take this time to focus most of this post on our AWN fans and THEIR memories (coupled with a few pictures.) So let’s get to it, eh?

My most memorable MILSPOUSE moment is… I have so many to choose from. I’ve been an Army wife for over 14 years now. Deployments, even AT and classes, seeing my husband in his uniform, everything. I cherish him so very much. I’m so proud of him I can’t even explain it. I guess if I had to choose it would be the day he came home from Iraq and stepped off of that bus. The butterflies in my stomach, the feeling of being in his arms after so long. He’s amazing. And I’m so glad that I’m his wife.  ~Bobbie W. 

***

My most memorable milspouse moment was the day after we got married. We drove from Ohio to Savannah, Georgia and we still joke that that was our “first honeymoon” since my husband had to report back to work the next day. I vividly remember thinking on the drive how my life was changing and it all felt like such an adventure that we were embarking on… 12 years later and it’s still an adventure and life changing! ~Tiffany B. 

Want more memorable milspouse moments? Click here to read on over at Army Wife Network AND enter to win our giveaway!

Thanks for joining us for this month’s Recon Rendezvous gathering… Catch us again at the beginning of next month as we kick off a new mini series!

Always Remembering,

 

 

“Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth.” ~Genesis 9:16

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Memorable Milspouse Moments Part 2 (AWN Giveaway)

August 2, 2017 by

Imagine this: A handful of close friends (or in our case, battle buddies) are miraculously back in the same zip code, be it for a few months or just a few moments.

You gather around the fire pit on the back patio. You pour yourself a beverage of choice (for me, this is Lime La Croix in a wine glass #PartyAnimal) It takes only a couple of seconds before someone says it…

“Remember that time when…”  [Read more…]

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Memorable Milspouse Moments Part 1 (AWN Giveaway)

July 5, 2017 by

Maybe it’s just me, but I feel like our military family spends a good deal of our time dreaming about the future. Our next duty station. If/when we will make that next rank. What our next assignment will be. And yes… Even imagining (and sometimes dreaming about!) what life after the army will be.

Oftentimes, thinking about the future can be a great motivating factor, especially when the going gets tough. But you know what? Looking back at where we’ve been, what we’ve experienced and how far we have come can also provide that #GoAmerica fuel we need to face the next milspouse challenge… Or adventure.

And so that brings us to this new Recon Rendezvous miniseries: All about our Most Memorable Milspouse Moments. (Bonus: It’s also a fun tongue twister.)

For the next three first-of-the-month posts, I will be sharing with you one of my most memorable milspouse moments, as well as some military memories submitted by you, our AWN fans and followers.

Let’s get started, shall we?

In the years that I have been a military spouse, I (obviously) have a lot of memories– some very sweet and wonderful, others… not so much. But to get this memorable party started, I think I should share how I got my army wife start.

And yes. I know you don’t have all day. So this will be the abridged version.

I was in college at Kansas State University in Manhattan, KS– forty days from graduation. In my 5 years of college (well, my entire life) I never had a “real” boyfriend. (Don’t get me wrong– I went on a handful of dates, but it was like, “Hey bro, thanks for the supper… But I’m good.” #ColorMeUnimpressed

Anywho: It was literally one of the most painful days of my life that day– lots of super sad, heavy stuff going on (several people in my network of friends/family had passed away that very day.) I had spent most of the afternoon holed up in my room, sobbing my eyes out, grieving for my friends/family.

So the last thing I wanted to do was “go out” that night. But we had some college friend in town from Minnesota, so I rallied (aka, was Voluntold) to be their Designated Driver as they toured Aggieville.

Long story still long: That night, some random dude started dancing with me in a bar. It was his birthday. I was a bit cautious… But we started talking (what?!?!) and the rest, as they say, is history. (That was TOTALLY not part of my no-plan-plan. ) This blonde-haired, blue-eyed infantryman ambushed my heart. (Sorry, couldn’t resist the corny analogy.)

We did the long-distance relationship thing for the remainder of the summer and he deployed at the end of August. He came home in April and proposed, right there in the teeny-tiny Columbus (Missouri) Regional Airport. His brother was home on leave from Germany and had purchased the ring while staying at my house. And I had. no. idea. (He slipped my husband the ring right as Brandon was proposing… My now-husband jokes that he was worried, because he thought he was going to open the box and there was going to be a twisty-tie ring in there.)

I, of course, said yes. And here we are.

So that’s ONE of my many memorable milspouse moments… But enough about me. Let’s check out what our readers had to say on the subject over at Army Wife Network. 

Like what you see? Join the beginning of each month for a link-up and giveaway! Til then– cheers to our memories!

Remembering Jesus,

 

 

“I will perpetuate your memory through all generations; therefore the nations will praise you for ever and ever.” ~Psalm 45:17

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Humorous Vacation Hacks: Army Wife Network

June 28, 2017 by

Summer is here, my friends! It’s time for fun in the sun, creating new ways to entertain the kids since they are out of school (#CanYouSaySummerCamp) and of course, vacations.

Now, if you are anything like OUR family, vacations are not, um, as relaxing as they used to be. With a 4-year-old and a 4-month-old, going anywhere for an hour is sometimes level: mission impossible.

But just as we did back around Christmas with Humorous Holiday Hacks #1, #2 and #3, I thought I would expand the experience to “help” with all things summer-getaway.

Now, for your reading enjoyment, we present Humorous Vacation Hacks.

1. I want to take my family on a vacation for summer block leave, but between my husband, kids and myself, we can never agree on a destination. The debates in our household rival the most recent president election shenanigans, so I would rather not deal with the hassle. How can we pick a destination that we can all agree on? 

Hack: I think the best thing to do in this situation is just wing it. Planning is overrated, right? And that feeling of just throwing things in the car and hitting the open road, top down, hair blowing in the wind, driving just to see where you end up will no doubt make you feel young again. Of course, you might run into a few snags when you arrive at a potential “destination” with no hotel reservations only to realize that due to a national motor cycle rally there are no hotels available within a two hour radius. But hey– not knowing where you are going it sure to be good training for the “hurry up and wait” experience for your next unknown duty station assignment.

Need more vacation tips– er, I mean laughs? Read more over at Army Wife Network. 

Readers, do YOU have any humorous vacation hacks? Which one is your favorite? Comment below.

Now if you will excuse me, I have to go buy an airhorn and NOT pack for family vacation.

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When the Going Gets Tough: Part 3 (Giveaway/Link-up @ AWN)

June 7, 2017 by

All good things must come to an end– but not before we go out with a bang! Welcome to our final installment of tips and tricks on how to survive (and maybe even THRIVE) when the going gets tough as milspouses. (Just joining us? Check out our previous posts in this mini-series by clicking here and here.)

Today, my tip for toughing-it-out survival is once again pretty simple. My go to when I start to feel a bit cray-cray? Get. Some. Rest. 

It might sound impossible, but I learned that “rest” can come in a variety of forms, not just catching up on the eleventy-billion hours of sleeping you feel like you are behind on. Yes, it’s true that I do try to take some kind of “nap” several days a week. Much against popular believe, a nap does not need to be 3 hours long to be effective. Even just laying down for 20-30 minutes will do wonders for my body and soul.

Rest can also be shutting off all the noise in the house and just breathing deep for a few minutes. It could be forgoing the to do list and heading to bed right after the kids hit the hay. Try to take things off your “list” to free up a little more space for margin in your life. We are a single-income household and when we were recently preparing to birth our second kiddo, we pulled some strings to outsource the “house-cleaning” a couple times a month. Now I have clean toilets AND my stress level is so much lower… AND I have a little bit of time to rest instead of worrying about how long it’s been since I vacuumed.

But again, don’t just take my word for it. Check out the final (awesome) tips contributed from our AWN milspouse viewers like you by clicking the following link:

When the Going Gets Tough … 

PS: Don’t forget to enter our giveaway and link up!

Going get tough, I get Jesus,

 

 

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” ~2 Corinthians 12:9

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When the Going Gets Tough: Part 2 (Link-up & Giveaway)

May 3, 2017 by

You might recall that last month, we kicked off a mini-series about what to do when the going gets tough as a milspouse.

We had such a good time with it, that I didn’t want to stop there. So today, I will be sharing another one of my personal “coping” tips when things are harder than normal for our military spouse lives. And of course, we will also take another look at some great ideas shared by our AWN fans!

So here is my monthly tip on how I deal with life when the going gets tough… I get busy– “Sharpening my saw.” 

No, friends, I don’t get all lumberjack and start building a cabin. But I do take leadership guru Stephen Covey’s advice and take a time-out to sharpen my saw.

Here’s the premise: Two woodsmen are out in the woods, you know, doing woodsmen stuff. (I assume this means chopping down things.) Both are under a deadline to meet a quota. One of them stops periodically to check his blade and take a few precious moments to sharpen it. The other one keeps sawing away, as his blade gets duller and duller. Who do you think is going to be more successful (and less exhausted!) at the end of the day. Yep, the one who stopped occasionally to sharpen the saw.

I do the same thing as a military spouse. My motivated to-do-achiever-self-instinct is to keep frantically pushing forward until I feel like the wheels are about to fall off. But I have learned that the smart thing is to take a break every now and then… Do something that fills my souls and recharges my heart.

It could be huge and profound like taking a couple days away by myself. But that only *maybe* happens annually– if I am lucky. I CAN do something ever couple days or so to sharpen my saw: Read a book for fun, drink a hot tea and watch a show on Netflix post-bedtime, Zentangle,  close my computer and take a couple of hours to window shop downtown, get a “fancy” yet simple lunch and dine by myself, grab a quick coffee with a friend or even drink a Coke Zero in the parking lot of Wal-Mart while scrolling Facebook for 15 precious minutes.

But don’t just take my word for it. See what other suggestions our AWN follows had to say about…

When the Going Gets Tough … by clicking HERE.

I don’t know about you, but this is super motivating (and a great reminder for me too!) What do YOU do when the going gets tough?  Jump in and leave a comment below. (And don’t forget to this month’s giveaway!)

Until next time… Keep calm and soldier on, my friends.

Proud to be a soldier for Christ,

 

 

“You armed me with strength for battle;
    you humbled my adversaries before me.” ~Psalm 18:39

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