Musings from Kindergarten Korner (Chapter 1)

Kids really DO say the darnedest things. Especially my kid. (I can’t imagine WHERE she get’s that from…)

So what better way to document these conversations for high school graduation blackmail material AND have a chuckle at the wild ride that is parenting than to write them in a blog.

I hope you enjoy this short glimpse of my parenting world. Out of the mouths of babes… more specifically, our creative and witty kindergarten girl. 

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Charis: “Hey, Mama?”

Me: “Yes, honey?”

Charis: “For my birthday next year…. Can we go to China?”

#ShootForTheStars#ForEvenIfYouMissYouWillBeCelebratingYourBirthdayInTexas     #SorryKiddo

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Charis: “Mama, why are you cleaning up the house?”

Me: “So that when Uncle Brock, Grandpa Dietrich and Grandma Lex get here, we can have fun and enjoy a tidy house.”

Charis: “Oh, and so THEN we can start making messes again?”

#HowBoutYaNot #FullTimeJob #NotEnoughMopMotivationInTheWorld

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*As I’m doing push-ups in the living room floor*

Charis: “Mama, why do you exercise?”

Me: “Because it’s good for my body. I want to be healthy. That’s why I run and do push-ups and sit-ups.”

Charis: “And squats! Don’t forget you have to do your squats!”

#FriendsDontLetFriendsSkipLegDay #ApparentlyKindergartenersDontLetYouEither

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Me: “Charis, guess what?!?! Our friends got a new puppy! His name is Boone.”

Charis: “Boom?”

Me: “No, BOONE, with an ‘N.’ Like Daniel Boone.”

Charis: “Oh. Who is Daniel Boone? Is he handsome?”

***

I feel like somebody is finally understanding my constant confusion in this house…

Charis: *Yelling from laundry room* “Why is there a dirty spatula in the clean laundry basket?” #MyLifeStory #SolidarySister #PassItOn

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If I ever get the chance to write a book, it will be titled “Nah, I won’t spend that much at Costco (and other lies I tell myself.”)

It, of course, will be dedicated to my family:

To my Beloved Husband, Brandon because he provides the dollar bills necessary to shop at Costco.

To my dear son, Malick, because he is on a personal mission to build Costco employees’ self-esteem by indiscriminately eating ALL available samples.

And to my daughter Charis, who is always looking for life victories, even in mundane moments like putting Costco purchases in the car: “Mama! WE TOTALLY WON SUPERMARKET SWEEP! Look at all these groceries!”

***

The latest installment of “Things I never thought I would say as a parent:”

“Do not put mac and cheese in your shoe!”
“Who smeared mashed potatoes all over the dog?”
“Why is there a toothbrush in the sandbox?” 
“Do not feed your brother that shovelful of sand!”
“Please do not fill the ice cube trays with dirty, soapy dishwater.”
“Why is there part of a peanut butter sandwich in MY shoe?”
“Please tell me your head is not stuck between the wrought iron bars.”
“Why is there a bite taken out of this textbook page?”

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The Tiny Humans brought their A-Game today!

Charis, watching Paddington again: “Look, Mama! It’s London!”

Me: “That’s right. Do you know where London is at?”

Charis: “Yep.” *Points At TV* “Right there.”

Me: “Touché.” (So much for the teachable geography moment…)

Two minutes later, to my darling man-child: “SON. Get your foot out of my salad!”

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“Me, groaning as I squat down to put the toddler’s shoes on in preparation for mandatory family fitness time AKA the treadmill is still in pieces from the move and I need to get some steps in, with Tiny Humans in tow*

Charis: “What’s wrong, Mama?”

Me: “I ran 4 miles yesterday and my legs are sore.”

Charis: “Well, how far are we going today?”

Me: “Probably just two miles.”

Charis: “OK, good. Because if we have to go 4 miles, I will TOTALLY FREAK OUT.”

***

Charis: “Mama, what are the planet names? Is Saturn’s rings made out of rocks or metal? Does it take a long time to get to space? Oh, here are some things I don’t like: Fevers, touching cactuses, mosquito bites, really hot weather. I only like things that are fuzzy, soft and cuddly…”

***

Things I had to say to my children:
“DO NOT EAT STYROFOAM!”
“Get your toe out of your brother’s mouth!”
“Why are you eating your peanut butter sandwich with the sandbox shovel?”

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See? Parenting might be a challenge, but at least it isn’t boring! I’m looking forward to sharing more of my daughter’s verbal shenanigans on a regular basis.

Laughter is the best medicine,

 

 

“She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.” ~Proverbs 31:25

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Comments

  1. Deb Hamerly says:

    Love stories from the mouths of our Littles. Their minds work in glorious ways and definitely keep you alert. I keep my Mom entertained with stories from work. If you ever get your book written let me know, I want to read it.