Have Courage & Be Kind #WilcoWednesday

Welcome to Wilco Wednesday! If you are a new around these parts, “Wilco” is Army-speak for “Will Comply.” Think of it as saying “Roger, God. Got it. Will do.”  So that is what Wednesday here at 7 Days Time is all about– exploring his decrees and seeking guidance for what complying with Him looks like in everyday life. The best part? He loves us for who we are, not what we do.  Remember: He doesn’t want perfection, just obedience. Share. Enjoy. Interact. And let’s respond to God’s call with  a hearty “Wilco, Lord!” Today, I welcome my fellow PWOC sister Holly to share a little piece of her heart.  

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If you have a little girl, or are a “little girl” at heart yourself, then you’ve probably seen the new version of Disney’s Cinderella. I am indeed that “little girl” at heart, especially when it comes to sweeping love stories with a good heart message. I’ve seen and read several versions of this romantic tale, but this one really grabbed ahold of my heart. Early in the film, as Cinderella’s mother is dying, she tells her young daughter “I want to tell you a secret. A great secret that will see you through all the trials life can offer. Have courage, and Be Kind. It has power, more than you know!”

WOW! What a message and I’m glad it was a running theme throughout this film. Why? Because I was bullied as a kid. A lot of it had to do with the fact that I lost my mother at a very early age, and my father wasn’t in the picture. And some had to do with the fact that I was a Christian. I was teased relentlessly.

School kids called me names like “pitiful princess” or “orphan holly.” I was emotionally tortured by family members who were trying to “toughen” me up, while others were jealous because I got to live with grandma (because she adopted me when my mother died…) Others family members my age picked on me just because I was the only girl.

Fine. It happens. Kids can be horrible. But for some unknown reason, I was forever in the wrong place at the wrong time, receiving punishment for others’ actions. In my already emotionally fragile state, the teasing and “toughening” was really unnecessary.

Or so I thought.

Romans 8:28 says “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose for them.” Another version of scripture says it like this.. “That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.” 

 As a kid, I remember praying that I’d make friends. I wanted peers who would understand me, accept me, love me for who I really was. I didn’t want pity. I didn’t want to be a bother or burden for anyone. I wanted to be chosen.

Because of this longing, I was ridiculously nice to everyone, especially my family, desperately trying to please them. I’d go out of my way to get anyone to like me. And that’s when it happened. I overheard a conversation between two family members:

“I’m hard on her because she needs to be tough. She’s too weak. She’s can’t be weak.”

It was like a bomb went off inside my heart. I realized then they were treating me like this on purpose! It wasn’t just the way they were or because they weren’t Christians. My heart hurt. And in that hurt, grew bitterness, and then anger, and then a “never again” attitude. Never again will they treat me this way. Oh, my heart. My soft, kind, turn the other cheek heart turned stone cold in an instant.

I vaguely remember being 16 and going to a baseball game where the whole family was gathered. Someone started to tease me, and I immediately stood up, shouted some expletives, and made a crude hand gesture. As I turned to walk away, I saw everyone was shocked. I stopped and said, “You wanted me tough. Here I am. Deal with it.”

At that moment, my relationship with God turned cold as well. I became a different person. I purposely got a job and volunteered to work on all major holidays, Sundays and birthdays, just so I didn’t have to deal with family. I became someone I didn’t like or even recognized.

Then one night, while I was alone, cozied up watching Grey’s Anatomy, a character described her colleague as being cold and intense. She followed that description by saying “I don’t mean that as a bad thing, cold is good. The dating, the friends and the family, if you ask me, it’s all overrated.” There it was. I had become so cold, so guarded and distant that I was absolutely alone.  I couldn’t even hear God anymore. (Not that I was listening.) I wasn’t even  for him searching.

Suddenly, I found myself on my knees. Crying and pleading with God for mercy and grace! “SOFTEN MY HEART! I DON’T LIKE THIS VERSION OF ME!”

Through the last 10 years, my heart has become softer again. After many apologies, seeking a lot of wisdom, hugs and tears, I am who God created me to be again. Sure, I still get picked on, and I still have bouts with bullies, but God has called me to be brave, and have courage, and to be kind. It takes courage to admit my wrong doings and courage to right those wrongs as I seek forgiveness. It takes courage to be kind to those who have hurt me and courage to forgive them.

Joshua 1:9 says “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”  I never forget this: Kindness is not weakness; it’s strength. Sometimes we will be taken advantage of, or bullied, or whatever evil schemes the devil has plotted to ruin our courage and kindness. But remember… God has chosen you!

Colossians 3:12 “Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.” BE ENCOURAGED! God uses every single detail (the good and bad) in our lives and works it into something good!(Romans 8:28)

Friends, how do you have courage and be kind in your walk with Christ? Join the conversation below by leaving a comment.

It is my prayer and hope that you today you find the courage that God has given you to, and that you clothe yourself in kindness. It’s more powerful than you know.

Holly is a proud Army Wife to her Infantryman John, and fur-mom to Bootsie Blue, the chihuahua. Holly has served in ministry for 18 years and she​ is currently ​active in her PWOC as the FACE Team Captain at Fort Lewis, Washington. Floridian by birth. Lover of travel, experiencing new cultures, baking, and a good cuppa tea with a Jane Austen novel.