God’s plan is perfect… Even though it can hurt like hell.
Last Wednesday, we lost the baby.
This is something I would not wish on anyone. I have never experienced so many emotions coupled with shock, denial and utter exhaustion in my entire life.
God’s ways are always good… Even though we don’t understand.
I finally got a chance to tell my husband about our loss on Friday, at which point he decided to come home from Ranger school… A decision for which I could not be more grateful. I have never loved him more.
We can always trust fully in God… Even though it takes every last ounce of our strength.
It’s only been a few days, but already I feel like I could write an entire book about this heart-wrenching experience. But today, I rejoice in the fact that God has been alongside us, every step of the way.
God is always with us and never forsakes… Even though our vision might be clouded by tears.
As I lay by myself staring at the white ceiling in the emergency room last Wednesday, God was with me. I could feel Him. While I could barely remember my husband’s middle name or my phone number, God continued to remind me of His everlasting word.
God’s words are true and everlasting… Even though they can sometimes seem impossible to embrace.
It didn’t matter if I was between sobs or gasping for breath as I cried… His words kept coming to mind… words such as Romans 12:15– “Rejoice with those who rejoice, mourn with those who mourn.” Or 2 Corinthians 1 as he is the God of all Comfort. And especially Habakkuk 3:17-18:
Even though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines,
Even though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food,
Even though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior.
God never gives us more than we can bear… Even though it can feel as if the weight of the world is crushing our heart.
Over the last few days, God has kept showing up, some moments more clearly than others. He showed up when in the form of the family members that listened to me sob on the other end of the phone. Or in the form of the friends that stopped by to check in and make sure I was eating. Or the fact that the nurse that was with me on Wednesday turned out to be an ordained minister. And God is with us now through the literal hundreds of people that are praying for us.
There is nothing greater than God’s grace… Even though the current trial seems impossible to handle.
My beloved Brandon and I’s hearts are broken… but we take great solace in the fact that our little Baby Angel is safe in the arms of Jesus. What a lucky, lucky little baby.
So… Even though our nursery will remain as our office for a while longer, and even though the baby gifts will remain hidden in the corner of a closet, and even though we won’t hold that little one in our arms until we reach heaven’s gate… yet we WILL rejoice in the Lord, we will be joyful in God our Savior.
Thankful for the other side of the “Even Thoughs,”
SGK
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” –Matthew 5:4
