Forward, March: Just a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T (AWN)

December 4, 2018 by

There are a lot of layers to this military wife life.

It’s kind of like an onion. (Or, as Donkey from the movie Shrek insists, it’s like a parfait. Which sounds delicious. But I digress.)

Seriously. So many layers. It’s not like the romantic homecoming love stories in the movies. Sure, we have our moments, but real life Army marriage requires a lot more than a long kiss that makes your toes curl.

Military wife life isn’t just about loving our soldiers. It’s about respect, especially if your service member happens to be a “typical” male.

See, here’s the thing… most men KNOW their wives love them. But many wonder: “Does she really respect me?” 

Maybe this makes you gasp and clutch your pearls. Of course I respect him! How could he think otherwise?

Well, I speak from experience when I say that sometimes our actions (or our words) don’t exactly convey respect.

You might recall a blog I wrote a couple of years ago entitled The Best Deployment Ever. It shares a lot of the revelations I learned regarding how women (typically) desire love and men (typically) desire respect. (This is not my original concept. It stems from the Weekend to Remember conference and Emerson Eggerichs’ book Love and Respect.

I respect my infantryman husband. So, SO much. But for the first several years of our marriage, I didn’t do such a great job of showing it.

Whenever I would say a backhanded comment of frustration about the Army.

When I rolled my eyes or heaved a huge sigh.

The moments that I tried to “mom” him.

Anytime I flat out rejected him for, ahem, “romantical time” together.

Sure, I knew I respected him. But he didn’t know that.

In the years since, I’ve been a lot more intentional about conveying my respect to him in whatever ways I can.

Like being patient and graceful when the Army throws us (another) curveball.

Want to read more about my AWN Respect Revelations? Check it out HERE. 

So this month’s Forward, March! challenge is to assess our individual Respect-0-Meter. Do we respect our spouse? How are we showing it? In what ways (words, attitude, actions) should we make an effort to be more respectful?

This idea of love AND respect is a lot more complex than just a simple blog post (which is probably why Dr. Eggerichs wrote the book). I encourage you to check it out to learn more about how to respect your husband (which results in him loving you more) and having a fulfilling marital relationship as an Army wife. It just takes a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

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AWN: Forward, March! Growing up is hard to do

November 7, 2018 by

Welcome to this month’s installment of our “Forward, March!” blog series. “Forward, March!” is meant to empower, encourage, and equip us as military spouses, so that we may support our service members with ever-deepening levels of strength and perseverance. Our hope is that the topics discussed in “Forward, March!” will be not only informative, but also challenging (in a good way, of course) to ensure that our “talk” as military spouses manifests through our “walk” as military spouses. Now, let’s fall in and get to it! 

***

Growing up is hard to do.

I’m not just talking about the awkward seasons of puberty (UGH!) or those painful moments of high school. It’s not all about those puff paint shirts or the bird-nest bangs in every school picture.

Growing up as a military spouse is no easy task.

Maybe that’s why they call it growing pains instead of growing parties?

One of my close friends is a newlywed to her beloved soldier. Both of our husbands are in the same company, so they are deployed together. They’ve been married one year. My Beloved Infantryman and I just celebrated eight years married, almost 10 years together.

And I have to tell you what, my friends: I do not miss the newlywed stage.

Now, if you are a newlywed reading this, hear me out. It WAS a very exciting time in my life, head-over-heels absolutely cuh-razy for my man in uniform. But gosh, I sure felt stressed out.

Want to read the rest of my growing party– I mean, growing pains? Swing by Army Wife Network. 

So, dear readers, leave a comment with your answers to the following: What are you doing this month to intentionally grow? Is there something you need to do? Or something perhaps you are being called to let go or give up? Think about what continuing to “grow up” looks like to you as we march forward.

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Army Wife Network: “Deja Blue” and the Deployment See-Ya-Later

October 26, 2018 by

For the most part, milspouse life is pretty great.

There’s new adventures, great people, lessons to learn, places to see, things to do… But of course, it’s not all roses, sunshine, and puppy dog tails.

In my personal opinion, one of the most uncool parts of the Army wife life are those pesky see-ya-laters that crop up when facing a TDY or deployment.

Just a few days ago, I had to conquer yet another see-ya-later with my Beloved Infantryman.

Gross, I know. #LeSigh

Unlike previous see-ya-laters (because I refuse to say “goodbye”), this one was different. Because we now have two tiny humans who are part of the equation. 

Military see-ya-laters are just so weird. A few of my wife friends in the battalion liken it to pulling off a band-aid. Naturally, the preferred method is to yank and go, then deal with the sting later. (And boy-oh-boy does a deployment band-aid-ripping-see-ya-later sting! #Medic!) [Read more…]

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Army Wife Network: Introducing “Forward, March!”

October 17, 2018 by

Newsflash: Things are ALWAYS changing in our Army wife life.

Ok, so maybe that doesn’t classify as “breaking news.” More like “Well, yeah… that’s no surprise.”

But since things are constantly changing at AWN, we want to try and stay contemporary, and thus we would like to introduce a fresh, shiny, new blog series called “Forward, March!”

We not only want to talk the talk as military spouses, but walk the walk. Or, in this case, march the march? [Read more…]

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Humorous Hacks: Back-to-School (Army Wife Network)

August 22, 2018 by

Can you feel the excitement in the air? It has got more POP than fireworks on the 4th of July, and the anticipation rivals that going-to-bed-on-Christmas-Eve feeling.

That’s right, my friends. It’s BACK TO SCHOOL TIME! (Oh. Not everyone gets THIS excited for B2S? Weird.) [Read more…]

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Army Wife Network: Six Quick Tips to Fire Up Your FRG

August 6, 2018 by

Family Readiness Groups can be such a wonderful asset to the military spouse life. It can be a great place to connect, meet people, and receive important information about all things mission-based.

Unfortunately, all it takes is one rough FRG experience to make military spouses a bit hesitant or skeptical to participate. (It certainly follows the concept of “One bad apple ruins the whole bunch.”)

If you find yourself in this position, faced with leading or participating in an FRG that currently has the enthusiasm of a jalepeno pepper plant that has been left in the El Paso sun without water (i.e., wilted and tired—ask me how I know about this analogy), here are six quick tips to fire up your FRG.

1. Be authentic. One of the biggest turn offs is an FRG leader who is insincere or just going through the motions. Yes, there’s a time and place for false motivation, (because in tough seasons, false motivation is better than NO motivation) but bottom line, we must make an effort to keep it real.

The heart of the FRG is supporting the families and supplying pertinent information, all while keeping the drama in check. Being our authentic selves might look like saying, “Yes this deployment/TDY/etc., is hard right now… But we can do it!” (If necessary, I like to use “America!” as a verb. It makes things a little easier to handle.)

Want to read the other 5 tips? Go ahead and hop on over to AWN to read the full post there. 

Oh, and if you aren’t military, that’s ok. I think these tips are easily adaptable for ANY leadership position. If you ARE military but aren’t necessarily the FRG leader, feel free to share the original post from AWN on your social media accounts. After all, knowledge is power, and power equals victory.

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PCSing, Marriage and Microwave Placement (Army Wife Network)

July 23, 2018 by

A while back, I stood in our scantly-equipped kitchen. Plastic silverware and paper plates sat on the counter next to the loaf of bread (and the espresso machine named Juan Valdez #BecausePriorities).

Our little family was finishing up our latest PCS. We had arrived at our final destination, found a wonderful house that met our needs, and now we were just waiting on the delivery of our household goods.

So yes, there I stood, looking around our bare kitchen, dreaming, planning, thinking… all of which are fave hobbies of mine with any PCS. [Read more…]

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Memorable Milspouse Moments Part 3 (AWN Giveaway)

September 6, 2017 by

The last couple months, we here at AWN have been reflecting on some of our most memorable milspouse memories. (If you missed Part 1 or Part 2, I will wait while you catch up.)

Today, we wrap this mini-series up, and you can probably guess the main topic of discussion:

Yep, you got it. Homecoming and deployments. (With a few extra bonus memories sprinkled in there.)

I have my fair share of reunion stories too, so it would be hard to narrow it down: When he came home on R & R and proposed during a 12-month deployment. Drill sergeant school graduation. Ranger school graduation. The deployment homecoming when my daughter was old enough to sort of “get it.” And more TDY’s than I can even remember.

I want to take this time to focus most of this post on our AWN fans and THEIR memories (coupled with a few pictures.) So let’s get to it, eh?

My most memorable MILSPOUSE moment is… I have so many to choose from. I’ve been an Army wife for over 14 years now. Deployments, even AT and classes, seeing my husband in his uniform, everything. I cherish him so very much. I’m so proud of him I can’t even explain it. I guess if I had to choose it would be the day he came home from Iraq and stepped off of that bus. The butterflies in my stomach, the feeling of being in his arms after so long. He’s amazing. And I’m so glad that I’m his wife.  ~Bobbie W. 

***

My most memorable milspouse moment was the day after we got married. We drove from Ohio to Savannah, Georgia and we still joke that that was our “first honeymoon” since my husband had to report back to work the next day. I vividly remember thinking on the drive how my life was changing and it all felt like such an adventure that we were embarking on… 12 years later and it’s still an adventure and life changing! ~Tiffany B. 

Want more memorable milspouse moments? Click here to read on over at Army Wife Network AND enter to win our giveaway!

Thanks for joining us for this month’s Recon Rendezvous gathering… Catch us again at the beginning of next month as we kick off a new mini series!

Always Remembering,

 

 

“Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth.” ~Genesis 9:16

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Memorable Milspouse Moments Part 2 (AWN Giveaway)

August 2, 2017 by

Imagine this: A handful of close friends (or in our case, battle buddies) are miraculously back in the same zip code, be it for a few months or just a few moments.

You gather around the fire pit on the back patio. You pour yourself a beverage of choice (for me, this is Lime La Croix in a wine glass #PartyAnimal) It takes only a couple of seconds before someone says it…

“Remember that time when…”  [Read more…]

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Memorable Milspouse Moments Part 1 (AWN Giveaway)

July 5, 2017 by

Maybe it’s just me, but I feel like our military family spends a good deal of our time dreaming about the future. Our next duty station. If/when we will make that next rank. What our next assignment will be. And yes… Even imagining (and sometimes dreaming about!) what life after the army will be.

Oftentimes, thinking about the future can be a great motivating factor, especially when the going gets tough. But you know what? Looking back at where we’ve been, what we’ve experienced and how far we have come can also provide that #GoAmerica fuel we need to face the next milspouse challenge… Or adventure.

And so that brings us to this new Recon Rendezvous miniseries: All about our Most Memorable Milspouse Moments. (Bonus: It’s also a fun tongue twister.)

For the next three first-of-the-month posts, I will be sharing with you one of my most memorable milspouse moments, as well as some military memories submitted by you, our AWN fans and followers.

Let’s get started, shall we?

In the years that I have been a military spouse, I (obviously) have a lot of memories– some very sweet and wonderful, others… not so much. But to get this memorable party started, I think I should share how I got my army wife start.

And yes. I know you don’t have all day. So this will be the abridged version.

I was in college at Kansas State University in Manhattan, KS– forty days from graduation. In my 5 years of college (well, my entire life) I never had a “real” boyfriend. (Don’t get me wrong– I went on a handful of dates, but it was like, “Hey bro, thanks for the supper… But I’m good.” #ColorMeUnimpressed

Anywho: It was literally one of the most painful days of my life that day– lots of super sad, heavy stuff going on (several people in my network of friends/family had passed away that very day.) I had spent most of the afternoon holed up in my room, sobbing my eyes out, grieving for my friends/family.

So the last thing I wanted to do was “go out” that night. But we had some college friend in town from Minnesota, so I rallied (aka, was Voluntold) to be their Designated Driver as they toured Aggieville.

Long story still long: That night, some random dude started dancing with me in a bar. It was his birthday. I was a bit cautious… But we started talking (what?!?!) and the rest, as they say, is history. (That was TOTALLY not part of my no-plan-plan. ) This blonde-haired, blue-eyed infantryman ambushed my heart. (Sorry, couldn’t resist the corny analogy.)

We did the long-distance relationship thing for the remainder of the summer and he deployed at the end of August. He came home in April and proposed, right there in the teeny-tiny Columbus (Missouri) Regional Airport. His brother was home on leave from Germany and had purchased the ring while staying at my house. And I had. no. idea. (He slipped my husband the ring right as Brandon was proposing… My now-husband jokes that he was worried, because he thought he was going to open the box and there was going to be a twisty-tie ring in there.)

I, of course, said yes. And here we are.

So that’s ONE of my many memorable milspouse moments… But enough about me. Let’s check out what our readers had to say on the subject over at Army Wife Network. 

Like what you see? Join the beginning of each month for a link-up and giveaway! Til then– cheers to our memories!

Remembering Jesus,

 

 

“I will perpetuate your memory through all generations; therefore the nations will praise you for ever and ever.” ~Psalm 45:17

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