If you ask most people what the happiest day of their life was, I am willing to bet a majority will answer:
1. The day our kid(s) was born.
Or…
2. The day we got married.
How sweet. How romantic. How dangerous.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Dangerous? Back the love-truck up here.
I say dangerous because while our wedding day might have been one of the happiest days of our life (this is still true for Barn and I,) it is very dangerous to cling to that wedding-day happiness as a sole building block for a Christ-like marriage.
I can hear the confusion through the raising of your eyebrows and scoffing under your breath. Let me explain.
One of the biggest mistakes a couple can make is to live in that wedding-day-happiness box (my husband likes to call that place and all places similar “Pretendland”) and think it is going to last forever. Don’t get me wrong– I am still crazy about my husband… But now I deal with a lot more dirty socks on the floor and coffee rings on the countertop than I ever did on our wedding day.
Real-life happiness has to happen in real-life. And our True source of Real-life? Yep, Jesus Christ.
No matter how wonderful your spouse is, guess what? You are both married to sinners. That’s right. Big, ol’ honking, sin-natured sinners. And sin is not a happy thing.
So when we sin, there might be a momentary lapse in our happiness source if we are totally dependent on our spouse to provide that.
It breaks my heart how many couples I have talked to who are going through the divorce process and their primary reason for divorce is “He/she no longer makes me happy.”
I personally think that is really unfair. If my husband expected me to make him happy 24/7/365, I am willing to bet I would crack under the pressure.
When we set those kinds of expectations on the shoulders of our spouse, we are totally overriding the opportunity to experience and give grace. And grace is the grease that keeps a marriage going.
Just because marriage isn’t going to be rainbows, sunshine, butterflies and puppy dog tails all the time doesn’t mean we can’t still find happiness in the moments of left-out-over-night-gallons-of-milk and grass tracked onto the freshly swept floor.
As a couple, you can come together acknowledging that you are both sinners and while we enjoy each other’s company and are happy to be married, your primary source of happiness is one that never blips, never falters, never sins and never forgets to fill the car up with gas.
Our primary source of happiness is the J-Man… Jesus Christ.
In Him, we have hope for an eternal future in heaven.
If you are married, I would highly encourage you to take a good, hard look at your marriage-happiness meter and just see where the source is coming from. Are you relying on your spouse as your “soul” source of happiness? Or on Someone much greater– specifically, Christ? Talk and pray about this with your spouse tonight and see what kind of conversation comes up.
For my single readers, really take some time to let this truth sink in… If you internalize this truth and find Jesus as your source of happiness before Mr./Mrs. Right comes along, then you will be light years ahead in the construction process of a Christ-Like Marriage.
Marriage is a powerful vessel for happiness, dear friends. We just have to make sure we are plugged into the right source.
Oh Happy Day,
“All their needs were met; they ate and drank and were happy.” ~1 Kings 4:20 MSG
Linking up today with Kelli via Unforced Rhythms, Laura at Playdates with God, and Joan’s Beauty in His Grip. Oh! And be sure to join our #EverydayJesus link-up community right here at 7 Days Time every Thursday!
