Marriage. What a blessed, challenging and complicated aspect of life.
One that I personally believe is well-worth discussing, especially from a Christian perspective.
So that is we are going to do… Today begins a new series called “Building a Christ-Like Marriage.” Each week we will be discussing a different component of marriage and how it make it the holiest it can be.
Disclaimer: I briefly struggled with this topic, because I don’t really have a specific demographic or niche to which my blogs cater. HOWEVER… I have a feeling that this applies to all of you dear readers, whether you are married, single or something in between. So let’s get started shall we?
The first component of building a Christ-like marriage is, you guessed it– Christ. Just like constructing a building, the first and most important part is to find/create a solid foundation.
Otherwise, a few years later, there will be cracks. Things will start to shift. And if left untended, the building (or in this case marriage) can crumble.
I would say that Brandon and I are blessed to have that solid Jesus foundation when it comes to our marriage. (Don’t mistake “solid foundation” for perfect. Believe-you-me, we have our challenges– most of which will be covered in future posts.)
I remember when we first started dating. After our brief first meeting in Manhattan, Kansas (yes, in a bar– I told you Jesus has a sense of humor) we started a Facebook conversation. Brandon asked me these questions, in this order:
1. What is your name? (That actually happened the night we met… apparently it was needed for proper Facebook-stalking.)
2. Are you single?
3. Are you available? (Yes, there is a difference between questions 2 & 3)
4. Are you a Christian?
Dear. Baby. Jesus. When I read that last question, I tell you what, friend… I was one click away from hitting delete, blocking him, slamming my computer shut and running in the other direction.
I mean, seriously– who asks that as your FOURTH question?? I thought “Do you like sushi?” or “What do you do for fun?” Or even “Would you consider going out with me?” were more appropriate discussions.
I will tell you what kind of man asks that question: One who loves Jesus.
Although I wanted to run the other way screaming, something (see also: Jesus) stopped me. Something clicked. Was I intimidated by his boldness? You bet. Did I think he was light years ahead of me in his spiritual journey? Yep. Did I run?
Well… You probably know the answer to that question considering my last name is now the same as his.
Turns out, we were in both in the same place when it came to our walk with God… And by walk, I meant both of us were standing still, trying to figure out how to move forward. There was a longing for relationship– not just with each other, but primarily with Jesus.
And that is how we survived– scratch that– thrived this long in marriage. We have grown leaps and bounds in Jesus, leaning on him as our solid foundation. Through deployments, army junk, deaths, birth, moves, uncertainty, you name it…
Things have changed greatly in the last several years. But Christ hasn’t. He’s always been there, under our feet, holding us up, keeping us grounded.
He IS our foundation.
Today, we continue to fall deeper in love with Jesus and each other as life continues to happen. Gary Chapman, author of “The Five Love Languages,” says that the first two years of a relationship (note: Relationship not marriage) are often the most passionate and considered the infatuation stage.
People are crazy about each other. Think about each other constantly. It’s almost like an obsession (usually in a good way.)
But eventually, we all hit that “two-year mark” in our relationship, whether it comes at 10 months or 3.5 years. Things simmer down a bit. Nights out on the town dancing our booties off change to nights in rocking a sick baby to sleep.
It isn’t a bad change– it is rich. But it is still a change. And as the seasons of life change, we all need a solid foundation to stand on.
Now my Beloved and I are very aware to take every decision to God. We place Him above each other and our daughter. You can do the same thing.
Pray together. Go to church together. Read the Bible together. Serve together. Laugh together. Mention the J-word (Jesus) in your daily lives together. Shoot, you can even stand on this foundation, um, ahem, behind your bedroom doors. <–(Not my area of expertise– or at least not one that I am going to discuss on the blog. But here is a great book that might give you some insight 😉
If you are married, take some time this week to really consider what your marriage is based on. Is it Jesus? If yes, how can you strengthen that foundation? If not, what changes do you need to make it happen? If you are not married, how might these foundational thoughts apply to any future relationships or when you interact with married friends? You know the drill… join the conversation and leave a comment below.
I am so looking forward to this series– strong, Christ-like marriages is something both Brandon and I are very passionate about… And we can’t wait to share our hearts with you in the coming weeks.
But for now– Let’s keep building on that solid foundation.
Standing on the Rock,
“The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.” ~Matthew 7:25 NIV
Linking up today with Michelle via Hear it Sunday~Use it Monday, Laura at Playdates with God, Joan’s Beauty in His Grip, and Inspire me Monday. Oh! And be sure to join our #EverydayJesus link-up community right here at 7 Days Time every Thursday!
