Over the years, I have had several best friends.
Some were just for a season, like during high school, college or for a specific duty station. Others have lasted through the years. They have lived in a variety of states and been at different stages of life.
And for the last several years I have had a best friend in Brandon, my beloved husband.
It’s great.
But there is always one sneaky little heifer that tries to wedge her way into our relationship:
MONEY.
When Barn and I first got married, money wasn’t really an issue. I mean, it was an issue for me since I had bookoo college debt, but meh– who cared, right? We were both working full-time and he has three deployments worth of cash stashed.
We thought we were sitting pretty. And we were. For a while.
Soon after we said “I do,” we thought we should be responsible grown ups and get on top of our finances. I half-heartedly made a budget and it lasted for about 33 seconds.
So much for that idea.
But soon we were called to move from Kansas to Georgia, which required me to quit my job. We went from living off two incomes to one. Then God informed us that we best get used to that, because with my brand-spankin-new call to ministry, that was going to how we would be living until further notice.
Ok, Jesus. Heard ya.
From the time we started dating, we always knew that money was a big issue-causer in marriages. I recently learned that it is in fact the NUMBER ONE cause of all marital strife. We certainly didn’t want to end up going down THAT road, so we had to get our kiesters into action on this area of building a Christ-like marriage.
We needed to figure out our finances.
Because our money seemed to leave our household like a revolving door. Where oh where was it going?
Maybe you find yourself in the same spot, ready to get a handle on your finances as a couple (or even as a single person who might someday get married.) There are a ton of classes and books to read on the subject… but just in case you want a real-life-heres-how-the-Knoblochs-roll version, check out these tips on figuring out your finances and spending that dinero like Jesus might have done (well, kind-of… Minus the fancy cell phone plans and stuff.)
1. Tithe. This is a big one– hence why it is number one. Now I am not going to lie– when I first graduated from college and started stumbling down this path of following Jesus, I seriously resisted this, ahem, “friendly suggestion” of my tiny new church. They weren’t pushy or anything, but apparently this “giving 10% of your gross income” thing was biblical or something.
For me, it almost made me cry. I was barely able to make ends meet as it was and the Big Man upstairs wanted me to drop a few hundred more bucks to him? Whaaa??
As you can imagine, my thinking changed when I really started to understand who Christ was and what a healthy relationship with Him (and my soon-to-be-husband) looked like. Tithing is an act of trust and honor. If this one you and your spouse struggle with, trying changing your perspective. Remember that God gives us everything– including our money. So instead of worrying about giving 10% back, rejoice that He is ALLOWING us to keep 90% of it! I say we definitely win on that deal. Ever since my hubs and I have been together, we have been very committed to tithing, even when things looked pretty short for the month.
And guess what? God has always come through for us.
2. Pray and talk about your finances. It really blows my mind how many couples say they don’t talk about money unless they are arguing. Communicating properly about how to spend income is huge. Not only does it keep us from dishonesty, but it also keeps us accountable to one another and to God, thus nearly eliminating grounds for a majority of arguments. Also consider praying about your finances, especially if things are coming up a bit short each month or if you are considering making a big purchase. God will give you the answer if you should buy that new car or instead opt to pay off some student loans.
3. Make a budget– and stick with it. As you have already read, our first attempt at a budget what a big ol’ flop. But after we were married for a year and my relocation unemployment money ran out, we knew we had to get our act together. Our money just seemed to be disappearing into thin air.
There is really no perfect science to making a budget. My hubs and I prefer spreadsheet. And the first year that we worked this up, we literally just picked random numbers off the top of our heads on December 31st as we drove from Kansas back to Georgia. “$250 per month of for car expenses? Sounds great. Write it down.”
So the first year that we had a budget it was more of an experiment. It showed us where we had estimated our expenses too low (groceries!) and where we weren’t really spending very much (clothes.) So the next year we tweaked our budget and were able to maintain accountability and start paying off some student loans at a rapid pace (as we also prepped for our first child.) I personally update the spreadsheet with our expenses bi-monthly, on the first and 15th when we get paid. It gives me a check point for the month to see how/where we are doing and what changes we might need to make for the rest of the month.
Making a budget has been a fantastic decision for our family and I want to share that opportunity with you. Below you will find a downloadable blank budget template, modeled somewhat after our own. Feel free to click the blue link and get to work figuring out your family finances.
What are your thoughts, friends? What other tips do you have for figuring out finances in order to build a Christ-like marriage? I would love to hear all about it. Comment here.
As with all topics in our “Building a Christ-like Marriage” series, I could write probably six blog posts just on this topic alone. But I don’t want to overwhelm you (at least not day. You are welcome for that, BTW.)
I do pray, however, that these simple tips equip you in your marriage to start figuring out finances in a way that brings the most glory to God… and the least amount of stress on your wedded bliss adventure.
Managing His Moolah,
“No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” ~Matthew 6:24
Linking up today with Kelli via Unforced Rhythms, Laura at Playdates with God, and Joan’s Beauty in His Grip. Oh! And be sure to join our #EverydayJesus link-up community right here at 7 Days Time every Thursday!
