Holy Spirit, You Are Welcome Here #WilcoWednesday

Welcome to Wilco Wednesday! If you are a new around these parts, “Wilco” is Army-speak for “Will Comply.” Think of it as saying “Roger, God. Got it. Will do.”  So that is what Wednesday here at 7 Days Time is all about– exploring his decrees and seeking guidance for what complying with Him looks like in everyday life. The best part? He loves us for who we are, not what we do.  Remember: He doesn’t want perfection, just obedience. Share. Enjoy. Interact. And let’s respond to God’s call with  a hearty “Wilco, Lord!” Welcome today, my good friend BriAnn as she shares a snippet of her testimony. 

***

In life, we all make choices. Apart from God, these choices are driven by our inner desires. When our inner desires aren’t being met by God’s love, protection, provision, meaning, and purpose for our lives, we’ll find ourselves looking for love in all the wrong places.

And that’s exactly where I found myself at age 19. Marrying a man I had dated for six years, but didn’t truly know, having a child when I was still a child, moving 2600 miles away from my family and friends, into an absolute mess of a situation, all while looking for my identity in the man that I believed should meet all of my needs.

I was raised in church. I had a loving mother and father that were Christ-like examples, both as people, and as to what a Christ-centered marriage should look like. I accepted Jesus into my heart at a very young age and was baptized at age nine when I began to understand my need for a Savior. At age 13, I got involved with a boy at church. He was sweet, funny, good-looking, and earnestly seeking God’s will for His life. I immediately fell head over heels. My parents warned me that it wasn’t a good idea, and as it turns out, they knew what they were talking about.

We quickly turned into two kids that looked like they were making all of the right choices from the outside, but from the inside, we were lusting after each other, looking for acceptance, security, and significance from each other, and forgetting all about who God was and what His plan was for our lives. By age 16, I was sneaking around, having sex, and pushing anything God desired for my life to the side.

Before long, we were failing each other. We became angry, hateful, selfish people. Abuse started in many different forms a couple of years down the road. We continued living in sin and it eventually led to an unplanned pregnancy at age 18. No jobs, no money, and bad decisions all led up to him deciding to join the Army to support this baby that was coming in three months. That choice led to marriage because we knew that would take him all over the country and we agreed he should be a part of his child’s life. We thought we could make it work for the baby.

I had my son while he was away at basic training. My husband’s letters home made it sound like he had a change of heart and was ready to take on this huge responsibility that came in the form of a wife and son. Once again, apart from God, that didn’t come to fruition. The abuse continued and got even worse. Feeling completely empty, I decided to go back to church. I begged God for an answer. I begged Him to help me decide if I should leave my husband. The abuse stopped. I felt like God had broken my chains  and all I had to do was ask for help. When I cried out “Holy Spirit, You are welcome here! Speak truth into my life and use me for your glory!”I heard Him tell me these things:

“You were never too far from my reach, even when you willingly turned your back. That little voice in the back of your head, telling you all along that you were loved and that all you had to do was choose to trust in me, even in the chaos, was the Holy Spirit.” (1 Corinthians 2:14)

“The brokenness you were feeling, the wrestling in your mind over desires of the flesh and truth, was proof that my Spirit never left you.” (Matthew 7:7, Psalm 32:8)

“I didn’t create your husband to complete you. I sent your husband to you, for you to love, and you have to trust that I will bring peace and give you rest in my presence.”

“That doesn’t mean that I will always remove you from your painful circumstances. I allow you to suffer, because it is then that you need me most.” (Philippians 1:6, Colossians 2:10)

“You have to change your belief about who I am, in order to change your behaviors.” (2 Samuel 22:32-34)

“The peace of God will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:7)

When I made a choice to obey God and love my husband, I released my wants, my hurts, and my anxieties to Him. He will be forever faithful in meeting all of my needs. My flesh still has the capability to influence my feelings, but it has lost power over me!

BriAnn is a stay-at-home mom to her children ages 6, 5, and 2. She has been a military wife for 7 years.  BriAnn is currently homeschooling her 6 and 5 year old, which has proven to be both a challenge and a blessing. She is currently active in PWOC at Fort Lewis, WA where she loves fellowshipping with others who walk a similar path as military wives and followers of Christ. She loves to play sports and enjoys laughing, hanging out, playing board games, and spending time with family and friends!