The Purple People Pleaser

I sure sang some weird songs growing up.

Well, I mean they didn’t SEEM weird at the time. But now as a grown-uppish kind of person, I have started to learn about the “background” info of some childhood tunes.

“London Bridge” is rumored to be about a viking siege, child prisoners or a colossal architectural disaster.

“Ring around the Rosie” is based on a song created about a plague. Yeah. The “ring” was a rash. The “posey” was something an afflicted person carried in their pocket to ward off the symptoms of the disease. And I bet you can figure out what “Ashes, ashes, we all fall down!” was referring to. #UmYikes

Can’t I just be five years old and naive again?

Recently, I was thinking about another song that we sang in elementary music class… The One-Eyed, One-horned, Flying Purple People Eater.

Did I ever actually LISTEN to the lyrics? How am I not scarred for life?

Admittedly, this song was meant to be silly and light-hearted. But the insinuation of eating humans seems like something of a nightmare.

And for some reason, I realized with just a slight name-tweak of that “monster,” I get a result that scares me even now as an adult.

The Purple People PLEASER.

That monster is almost more scary than its original counterpart.

Because as a Christian, people-pleasing can derail our heart, our focus and even our mission in the blink of an eye.

I should know. I AM a recovering people pleaser.

This year has been on of the most challenging and rewarding years of leadership and ministry. I am pretty sure that I have ticked more people off or offended them (unintentionally, of course) in the last six months than I have in the last 4.5 years of working for Jesus.

Most days, I stay rooted in truth and while those offenses and unpleased people/strangers/acquaintances in my life make my heart tear up a little bit , I am able to get all Taylor Swifty and shake it off.

Well, that is until lately.

It’s a long, heart-cracking, ugly-crying story, but in short: I have recently had some pretty serious misunderstandings with a friend. And a few other folks in my ministry circle.

So when all of these powers converged (with Satan stirring the pot) I realized my identity in Christ was not quite as solid as I thought.

My tendency was to fall back into the purple-people-pleasing mode. For a 24 hour chunk of time, I lost sight of God’s truths and was completely convinced that I was a fail in all the areas in all the things. Just because a handful of folks didn’t agree with me.

But my sweet, truth-telling, encouraging husband (who is absolutely NOT a people pleaser) gave me some great tips to “check” my actions and if I was resting in God or relying on people to fill up my bucket.

If you are currently battling your people pleasing monster, I encourage you to cross-check your cracked, wobbly heart with the following questions:

Do you fully believe that your roles/decision are done of obedience to God? (If yes, keep going.)
Do the people “questioning” you have spiritual authority over you? (If no, keep going.)
When others approach you in offense/confrontation, did they do it in a Godly way or out of emotion? (If out of emotion, give grace and shake it off…)
Did you sin in response to their approach? (If yes, seek their forgiveness.)

This formula (or arsenal, maybe?) really helped to give me the perspective I needed to regain my bearings in Jesus. Yes, I was genuinely hurt in how the events shook down, but I didn’t have to be defined by them. Ultimately, my greatest concern is to love God and love His people.

Are you a victim to the scary one-eyed, one-horned, flying purple people pleaser? If so, how do you combat that? Join the conversation and leave a comment here.

Oh, one more really helpful tool if you struggle with the people pleasing monster. Memorize Proverbs 29:25 in The Message:

“The fear of human opinion disables; trusting in God protects you from that.”

And THAT’S the bottom line. #BeGoneMonster

Trusting Him,