Welcome to another week of our Everyday Jesus link-up. Be sure to link-up below this post, comment on your neighbor’s blog and share with your friends… Because Jesus is everywhere, every day!
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Some days I feel almost ok about my state of heart when it comes to following Jesus.
Like on days where His patience shines through with my daughter or I manage not to snap at the hubs when the dishes fail to make the two-foot leap from the sink to the dishwasher. Or when I have an extra-awesome quiet time or get a lot of His work done during nap time.
Then there are other days that my sin-nature rears its very, very ugly head and shocks me into an almost speechless mode. (And for those of you who have met me, you know that me + speechless = pretty serious situation.)
This ugliness recently showed up at my breakfast table during my quiet time.
In the past, I have really made an effort to be content and grateful for all the amazing blessings God has given me, trials included.
But some days, my selfish, ungrateful self sneaks back into the picture. Like that day at the kitchen table. Here’s what happened:
I woke up a bit tired from a medium-challenging night with our toddler. Nothing major, but it was taking a hot minute for me to get cranked up for the day and set my heart right with God. The past several weeks had been jammed with additional “life happens” appointments like trips to the doctor (mostly just for check ups,) the vet, dentist, etc, etc. No big deal– I was rolling with the punches-ish, even though it was really jacking with my mothering/work out/writing/be-a-wife schedule.
On this particular day, I had to take the dog to the vet. I knew I couldn’t handle both him and our 14-month-old, so I needed to drop her off at childcare. (Side note: I believe there is a special place in heaven for day care workers. Saints. On. Earth.)
I had also been “voluntold” by my beloved husband to pick up a couple of our friends from the airport later in the day. So I was a little twitchy hoping all of these things, in MY order would happen BEFORE nap time and not disrupt MY plans to work in the afternoon.
Notice the “MY” emphasis.
So I was a not super pumped about the day. My devotional that morning talked about giving– one of our favorite bible verses for this ministry from Luke 6:38~ “Give away your life; you’ll find life given back, but not merely given back—given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity.” (MSG)
One of the examples given in the devotional was the thought of “generosity in giving is often a response to gratitude in receiving.”
(Disclaimer: if you would rather NOT see this glimpse of my ugly heart, look away now. Seriously)
I read that sentence again. “Generosity in giving is often a response to gratitude in receiving.” My first ugly-hearted thought?
“Well, I just feel like I give, give, give and WHEN was the LAST time I received something?”
Kind of makes you go blah, right? Super ugly. But before I could even finish the thought, there came Jesus’ gentle thwack between the eyes: “Um, ‘scuse me, Miss Gripey-pants. Have you forgotten what I gave? Seriously. That cross thing with eternal life? HELLO.”
I bet Jesus sometimes looks like this at me when my ugly self shows up. Thwack. Sigh. And He love us anyways.
Immediately a flood of conviction washed over me. “What in the name of chocolate sauce was wrong with me!?! I have a promise of eternal life from Jesus Christ and I am ticked off that I have a dog to take to the vet, money to pay for it, a car to drive to and from, a baby to love, a healthy body that I can work out and I actually have friends who tolerate me?!?!
Oh yeah. I am a sinner. I almost forgot. #MyBad
Here’s the moral of the story, my friend: No matter how long we are walking with Jesus, what our vocation is or what season of life we are in, we will always be sinners. Yes, we will learn to tame it but sometimes it sneaks up on us.
But even though we are sinners, God’s grace still covers us. ALWAYS. Every time. He never misses.
Where in life does your sin-nature crop up? How do you handle it. Join the conversation by leaving a comment.
Jesus hasn’t held that moment over my head gloating. I repented right there at the table and changed my outlook on the day. Was it busy? Yes. Did it go according to MY schedule? Nope. But was Jesus in it? Very much so.
Having Jesus around to work on my ungrateful heart with those gentle little forehead thwacks is always something to be grateful for.
And grateful I am.
Grateful for His Grace (and thwacks between the eyes,)
“I’m speaking to you out of deep gratitude for all that God has given me, and especially as I have responsibilities in relation to you. Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it’s important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you.” ~Romans 12:3 MSG
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