My woman brain goes weird places every now and then.
If you don’t believe me, just ask my husband. (He says I am “abnormal.” But this is coming from a man who chews his toenails and watches weird space documentaries on TV… sometimes simultaneously. So I vote his “abnormal” is unfounded.)
But my brain really does come up with crazy thoughts sometimes. Occasionally they are good thoughts, just letting my imagination run about what God might have planned for us in this world. Sometimes I daydream about heaven and anticipate meeting Jesus for the first time. And yes, my brain will often try to put “scary” thoughts in my head revolving around severe sickness, accidents, death etc. (At which point I promptly tell Satan to GET BEHIND ME as I pray Philippians 4:8)
There are a few occasions when a semi-profound Jesus thought randomly pops out of these thought tangents.
Like this one: “Would I REALLY die for Christ?”
Photo via Deep Life Quotes @ Flickr
I want to say I would, but would I REALLY? This thought popped into my brain several months after becoming a mother. It has been a rough night with our daughter (who still seems to think sleep is overrated) and I was tired. Frustrated. Frazzled.
I had slowly started releasing my grip on her as far as “worrying.” (Hey. I was/am a new first time mom and my nature is to be twitchy about stuff I can’t control.) She had been sleeping in her own room for a while, but I sometimes still wanted to check to make sure she was still breathing.
Somehow, my tired brain went from that idea of my daughter no longer breathing to what I would do if something ever happened to her. Then I made the flying leap to the “protection and love” section of my brain, which made me get all fired up and do whatever I had to in order to take care of her.
Including die for her. If a car was speeding down the road, I don’t doubt I would sacrifice myself in an attempt to save her. Same with an oncoming bullet.
I don’t say these things to sound noble, but I say these things because I am convicted– because no sooner did I have these thoughts did I hear Christ whisper in my mama brain, “Now, would you do that for Me?”
If that statement wouldn’t stop you in your tracks, I don’t know what would.
I froze. I stood there looking in the mirror, pondering this powerful, intense, soul-rocking question.
Would I die for Christ– REALLY?
My logical self said, “Of course. The order of importance in my life goes God, husband, baby, so yeah.”
My heart self said, “I would hope so.”
My selfish-fleshy self said, “Uhhhhh… Do I have to?”
It has been awhile since this question came into my brain and it has not left me. I have spent weeks upon weeks pondering it.
And I still don’t have a for-sure 110% solid answer. I have imagined myself as a missionary in a faraway land where talking about Jesus is a no-no. If someone there (or heck, even here!) came up to me, gun pointed at my head and said, “Do you believe in Jesus Christ? If yes, you die. If no, then I will spare your life.”
What would I REALLY say?
Although I can’t speak with complete confidence, I would like to think I would say yes. I would like to think I would die for Christ and meet heaven’s reward right there.
Now friends, I don’t write this seemingly dark post to depress you– but I wanted to share my conviction with you. Have you really ever thought about this question? I haven’t. And it has been a faith-shaker (in a good way.) In a world that tries to put everything from possessions to people in place of God, it really is something to think about.
So do just that. Think about it. Would you REALLY die for Christ?
Trusting Him,
“But whoever disowns me before others, I will disown before my Father in heaven.” ~Matthew 10:33
Linking up today with Jen at Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood, Hazel via Tell Me a Story and Jennifer Dukes Lee over at #TellHisStory. Be sure to join our #EverydayJesus link-up community right here at 7 Days Time every Thursday!
